How do you find your “style”? Figuring out how you’d like to dress is challenging. Strict parents, dress codes, fear of standing out, and money restraints all make this difficult. I’ve fleshed out my style pretty well, I’ve been told I dress like an “e-girl” or an adjacent aesthetic. Shoutout to my friend for telling me I dress like Draculaura from Monster High. Best compliment I’ve ever received.  

For me, finding my style and being comfortable dressing in it took a long time. I started out the school year dressing more masculine, wearing button-downs and pants. Slowly, I found different styles and wanted to dress in those ways.  

I found my style by scrolling Pinterest, making boards of things I thought looked good, and looking at videos on YouTube about aesthetics and how to style items. It took a while, but I started seeing a pattern in what I liked. Skirts, black and pink colors, cat-themed items, tights, and fun jewelry. I looked at what I had in my closet and figured I needed a few staple pieces I could mix and match until I was able to snag a few more fun items from stores like Hot Topic and Tilly’s when there were sales. I also looked around thrift stores and found some fun clothes for great prices.  

It’s very hard to get over fears of how people will see you or how you will look in certain clothes. I also struggled with what people would think of me dressing the way I do. I’ve found that the only comments people have made about how I dress have been positive. No one has given me a weird look or called me anything rude. To get over this fear, you can show your friends outfits and let them hype you up, see if you can find other people on campus dressing how you like, and one by one incorporate items that are part of your new style. You can also walk around in a private place, like your house, to get used to wearing those clothes. If anyone says anything mean, ignore it. As hard as that is, it’ll make you more confident to know that you can ignore people who just want to get you down. 

What happens if your parents don’t approve of how you dress? Honestly, as much as I’d like to say to just ignore them, you can’t do that. They can get upset and punish you for dressing that way. Many people’s parents also pay for their clothes, so you can’t just sneak in new clothes. You can’t really defy your parents, as much as you’d like to. You can try to compromise (maybe something like, “I won’t wear [item you want to wear], but can we settle with [thing that they’re more comfortable with]?”), but if there’s no compromising possible, you might just have to wait until they allow you. You can find videos online talking about how to dress in some aesthetics with strict parents or within the dress code. Try looking up “dressing [aesthetic] with strict parents/dress code” on YouTube.  

It can be difficult to feel comfortable dressing in a way you find interesting. You need to build up confidence and find ways to pin down things you like. Trial and error is key, and eventually, you’ll find something you like!